


His Shield is the Size of a Dinner Plate

by tiara123458



Series: Tara's Parkner Week 2019 [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: BAMF Harley Keener, BAMF Peter Parker, Day Four of Parkner Week, Fighting, I REALIZED AFTER I POSTED THIS THAT YOU LITERALLY CANNOT TELL THAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE SLASH, I Tried, I wanted this to be funny but I think I failed, IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR FRIENDSHIP PARKNER THIS WORKS, M/M, Parkner Week 2019, This technically takes place in the tower though you can't really tell, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 09:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20133355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiara123458/pseuds/tiara123458
Summary: When the tower is attacked and Peter and Harley are the only ones there to defend it, they have to fight to protect themselves and their home.





	His Shield is the Size of a Dinner Plate

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't very long, and I don't really like this one, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Tony stared in absolute dismay. He couldn’t leave these kids alone for one day!

His kitchen was in shambles. There were several holes and dents in the walls, dinner plates were everywhere, even embedded in the ceiling, much to Tony’s confusion. There were at least five random men lying on the floor, unconscious and bloodied. To top it all off, Harley and Peter were on top of the counter, both armed with a dinner plate in each hand.

They both relaxed when they saw him, sheepish grins coming to their faces.

“Heyyyy, Mr. Stark!”

“How-what-why,” Tony spluttered, ignoring Peter entirely, before seeming to gather his wits about him. “How did you even manage this?!”

I--II--II--III--II--II--I

Harley was bored. Tony had left for some thing for SI thing at Pepper’s insistence, and he and Peter were lying listlessly about the common room playing video games that had lost their appeal a couple hours before.

Throwing his controller to the side with a defeated side, Harley flopped over on his back. The death sound sounded moments later. Peter followed his signal a second later.

“I don’t get why Tony won’t let us in the lab without supervision anymore. We knew what we were doing! We _wanted_ it to explode.”

“Like, the small fire was an accident, but we put it out! It was fine.”

Harley was about to respond (i.e. complain back), when Peter tensed.

“There’s someone here.” Peter stood up, and reached out his hand down to help Harley up as well.

“If Mr. Stark was expecting someone, he would have told us, right?” Peter sounded a bit uneasy, though he didn’t actually seem scared. Harley supposed that made sense. Peter dealt with criminals on a regular basis.

“Yeah. And its not like, a lost business man or something?”

Peter looked doubtful, but he paused, listening, when a gunshot made his efforts moot. Harley swallowed.

“I guess not, then. What do you think they shot? There’s no one else up here.” Without waiting for an answer that Peter didn’t have, Harley continued. “Do you have the suit on you?”

“It’s in my room. My room, which is past the intruders. FRIDAY, can you call Mr. Stark?” Harley felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his gut as he realized that FRIDAY hadn’t said a word throughout the entire exchange. As if on cue, the lights cut out. Peter and Harley exchanged a wide eyed look, seeing each other through the late afternoon sun coming in through the windows.

“To cut the power, they would have had to affect the arc reactor, which they shouldn’t have been able to get too.” Harley mused.

“There’s a panic button in the kitchen not linked to the main arc, right?”

“I think so, but even if there isn’t, Tony had to have known the second the power went out, right?”

“I’m not sure. Either way, a panic button will let him know we’re still alive and that we need help.”

A loud crash and muffled cursing sounded down the hallway. Peter and Harley both immediately started towards the kitchen.

“Harley, if necessary, I’ll reveal the fact that I’m Spider-Man to keep us safe, okay? But, I think I have an idea. Have you ever seen that one Captain America vine?”

“Which one?” As Harley’s eyes landed on the reinforced, Thor tested, Hulk approved dinner plates, he had a feeling he knew exactly what Peter meant.

I--II--II--III--II--II--I

Harley pressed a discreet button that was on the underside of the counter, hoping that it got to Tony before hopping atop of the counter which Peter had been loading with plates.

The first man entered the kitchen only to be immediately struck down by a plate to the face. Harley was pretty sure that he saw a tooth fall out. He felt a surge of petty vindication as he bent down to replace the one that he had lost.

“What the fuck?” Someone outside the kitchen muttered, stepping over the first guy with his gun raised.

Peter flung one of his plates like a frisbee, hitting the guy in the chest. He sunk down with a rather wet sounding wheeze. Peter looked horrified.

Harley figured it was because he hadn’t pulled his strength enough and might have actually seriously injured the guy. Harley just thought the guy was lucky Peter hadn’t been aiming the face--or possibly worse, the throat. That would have been traumatizing.

Peter’s face suddenly snapped up again.

“Someone’s at the door.”

Harley threw another plate right as the door opened. It hit the door, then fell to the floor with a rather loud _Clang!_ Throwing his second plate, Harley blinked in stunned shock as the guy shot it, throwing the plate off of its course and embedding it in the ceiling. _What the actual fuck._

Harley bent down to grab another plate, as Peter threw his second plate and hit the guy in the face. This time, it was obvious to Harley that Peter had been watching his strength, maybe a little too carefully, because while the guy let out a pained shout and fell to his knees, this one wasn't down for the count.

Harley threw another plate. Unlike Peter, he probably wouldn't kill anyone if he threw as hard as he could unless he hit the guys throat.

This time he stayed down.

Peter and Harley brought the next couple down in similar ways. One of them got a few lucky shots off when they both had to reload on plates, the bullets thankfully going through the walls instead of through them.

The next guy sprinted into the room and ended up falling into the wall when he was hit, leaving a dent.

Of fucking course Tony would reinforce his plates but not his walls.

After the fifth guy went down, all was silent except for the sound of breathing. Peter and Harley waited, slowly relaxing as no more adversaries came in.

Peter tensed suddenly, his grip on his plates tightening.

Harley immediately followed his lead.

A minute or so later, Harley heard what Peter heard. Footsteps coming towards them quickly.

The door was pushed open only seconds later, revealing an extremely worried Tony Stark.

The longer Tony stared, the less worried and the more incredulous he looked.  
Harley and Peter smiled.

“Heyyyy Mr. Stark!” Peter said nervously.

“How-what-why,” Mr. Stark cut himself off, seeming to struggle. “How did you even manage this?!”

Harley laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> Review and/or kudo if you enjoyed!


End file.
